Leeds counsellor shares 3 top tips for parents on how to survive stress this exam season

A Leeds-based young people's counsellor is reminding parents of children preparing to sit their GCSEs and A Levels to “put their own oxygen mask on first”, to help their children cope with stress this exam season.

Lisa Norfolk, a person-centred counsellor and psychotherapist with two decades of experience in the charity sector, says parents are often keen to find ways to deal with their children’s exam anxiety, but they need to shift their thinking to think about their own wellbeing first.

The advice follows a study linking academic pressure on teens to an increased risk of depression and self-harm. The research, by University College London (UCL), found these mental health issues could persist into adulthood.

Lisa explains that common signs your child is suffering from exam stress may include withdrawal from normal life, struggling with sleep or a loss of appetite. But each of these can be the opposite, depending on what is normal for the young person.

Lisa said: "When we are on a plane, we are asked to put on our own oxygen masks first. The same applies to helping our children; the more grounded and better placed we are as parents and carers, the more equipped we are to be supportive and calm for our children. And this creates a positive ripple effect through the whole family.

"Think about revisiting old hobbies and interests, and checking in with friends. Setting boundaries and being able to say no to things is also very important; put time aside for yourself. Meanwhile, maintain your own energy levels - eat healthily, and prioritise your sleep and movement."

Lisa, who is registered and accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), is sharing her tips ahead of Mental Health Awareness Week (11th to 17th May).

She worked as a counsellor for 20 years at Leeds-based The Market Place, which provided free mental health support to young people. Funding cuts forced the charity to close last September, leaving a gap in community-based youth counselling in the city.

After being made redundant, Lisa decided to set up her own private counselling practice, Lisa Norfolk Counselling, which offers counselling to young people from age 11 upwards as well as to adults at two locations in Leeds.

No stranger to working under pressure, Lisa is a former GB archer whose background in competitive sport informs her understanding of performance stress and family dynamics.

Lisa said: “I believe that adults and young people should have adequate access to free counselling and therapy. Which is why I dedicated half my life to working in the third sector/charity sector.

“In my private practice, I offer subsidised places for counselling students and those who are struggling or on a lower income. I have also continued to work in the third sector for the Bradford charity Step 2, providing counselling and wellbeing support for young people.”

Lisa’s 3 top tips to help young people cope with exam stress

Balance

Find a balance between revision and relaxation; enjoyable activities shouldn’t be forgotten.

Reframe negative thoughts

When negative thoughts creep up, reframe them. For example, changing the thought ‘I can’t do this exam’ to ‘these exams feel difficult, and it’s natural to feel this way, but it will come to an end, and I can do this’.

Stay grounded

Use grounding techniques to feel connected and present, such as naming: Five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

You can find out more about how to support your child beat exam stress at NHS.UK.