'We liked him instantly': How a Leeds befriending scheme instantly sparked a firm friendship
“From the minute he walked in, we were fighting to talk. We were chatting and chatting and chatting.”
That’s how Horsforth resident Sally, 87, remembers her first meeting with Paul, 46, a volunteer befriender.
Though strangers Paul, Sally, and Sally’s husband Nigel all had an instantaneous connection. They quickly discovered a variety of similarities from an “adventurous spirit” and interest in travelling to a love for grunge music, particularly the band Nirvana.
Paul and Sally were first matched in May last year as part of Age UK’s Ways to Wellbeing befriending service.
The scheme sees individuals over 50 matched with volunteers as a source of regular companionship.
Paul, a creative director and business owner, found out about Age UK’s befriending scheme after seeing a student’s presentation at the University of Leeds.
Immediately, he thought it was a “brilliant idea”, but he was initially unsure how meeting face to face would work.
Paul said: “I didn't really have any expectations but what probably crossed my mind was would I be doing all the talking or all the listening?”
Likewise, Sally and Nigel were nervous but they felt they had made the right decision from the moment they met Paul.
Nigel said: “I was a bit afraid with a stranger coming in the house but straight away we hit it off.
“It’s made such a difference to us this year.”
Sally added: “We just liked him instantly.”
On Friday afternoons, Paul would visit Sally and Nigel and the trio would share stories of their lives.
Paul said: “We’ve had good fun and we’re all chatterboxes.
“We’ve had life chats, marriage chats, work chats, and kids growing up chats.”
Marion, 71, is another Horsforth resident who has benefitted from Age UK’s befriending scheme.
Marion was connected to the service last year through a hospital referral and matched with Martin, 85.
Martin, who is originally from Norfolk, had discovered the scheme after seeing a feature on the service on the TV and he thought it was a “great” initiative.
Martin said: “There was a news item on Look North showing the rather good results it could produce.
“I thought that sounds great and that sounds like something I could do because obviously there are limits on what you can do as you get older.”
Though Martin and Marion felt “apprehensive” before they first met, they quickly discovered that just like Paul, Sally, and Nigel, they had a lot in common.
Not only are Martin and Marion both retired civil servants, they both love coffee and cake, and have a keen interest in politics.
“We sing from the same hymn sheet,” Marion joked.
Marion lives with anxiety and as she has got older, she has found herself feeling “isolated”.
Marion said: “I'm quite a sociable person by nature.
“It doesn't do me much good being on my own for long periods of time because I like mixing with people and I'm interested in people.”
However, Marion has found that meeting Martin through the befriending service has given her “something to look forward to.”
Befriending matches are supported by Age UK for a total of 12 sessions but Paul, Sally and Nigel, and Martin and Marion have remained firm friends.
Pairings, which can be face-to-face or over the phone, are co-ordinated at a local level and within Leeds, between 10 and 15 matches are usually active at one time.
Age UK’s current befriending service will be running across Leeds until September 2026.
However, Paul, Sally, and Nigel, alongside Martin and Marion, see befriending initiatives like this as critical in modern life.
They recommend anyone who signs up for a scheme like this to make the most out of the friendships that can be made.
Martin said: “If you have time and availability then it is a very worthwhile thing to do.
“I found it very fulfilling and good to get to know someone else in a different situation.”
Paul said: “Lean into it, come with stories and questions.
“Generally, everyone's got a story to tell and the storytelling is key - even if someone's quieter and they're listening, just listening to your stories because they're quiet that's that's important.”