'I was so terrified I'd cheat on my boyfriend I stopped seeing friends': Leeds woman shares OCD battle
Sophia now shares her experience with OCD to help others
A Leeds woman with relationship OCD says her intrusive thoughts made her so fearful she'd cheat on her boyfriend that she stopped going out with friends.
Sophia Forrester, 24, was diagnosed with OCD in December 2025 after getting into the “only healthy” relationship she had ever had.
She says previous rocky relationships left her “overthinking everything” and needing to retake a full year of education due to stress.
And despite now being in a loving relationship after meeting her current partner in February 2025, her mental state “completely flipped”.
Sophia says she experienced thoughts like ‘what if I cheat?’, ‘what if you’re a bad person?’ or ‘do I actually love my boyfriend or am I lying to myself?’ and says her brain would create worst-case scenarios.
The thoughts caused Sophia to isolate herself over time, avoiding nights out with friends after fears she did something wrong, or cheated “even if I just looked at someone” - for at least four months.
She lost focus at work, lost weight and would spend “hours” on ChatGPT to seek reassurance about her intrusive thoughts.
In April 2025, she began therapy and began taking an SSRI called citalopram, receiving her diagnosis in December 2025.
Now in recovery, Sophia began sharing her experience on social media in November 2025 to help others who may be going through a similar thing.
Sophia said: “I know deep down I would never cheat - as someone who has been cheated on, it’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.
“My brain is convincing me of these worst-case scenarios. With OCD it gives you a thought to protect against anything bad happening again. Like ‘what if you cheat’ or ‘what if you’re a bad person’.
“Sometimes I’d go on a night out with friends drinking and the next day would be even worse.
“My anxiety would be worse and then I’d be like ‘oh my god did I do anything wrong last night?’ or ‘am I a bad person?’
“I would analyse everything – even if I looked at someone, I’d think ‘I’ve just cheated on my boyfriend I shouldn’t have looked at that person’. It’s awful.
“Relationship OCD has been acknowledged as a sub-type of OCD for many years now, it’s just that recently there’s been more awareness about it.
“Now I’m a lot better and I can go out or go to the gym and the thoughts are not as believable anymore.
“When ROCD happens for the first time and you have no idea what it is. It’s the most terrifying experience.
“I thought I was going insane and losing my mind."
Sophia says she has had previous experiences of OCD as a child, having thoughts about bad things happening to her family.
She would pray at night to relieve that anxiety, and when she grew older, experienced bad contamination OCD from aged 20 onwards, which she has received therapy for.
Sophia says during the time she was single and dating her OCD “latched on” and focused more on her contamination OCD.
“I still wash my hands a lot now and I used to have different towels for different body parts because I was scared I’d get a horrible disease,” she says.
“I feel it’s been a thing for most of my life, but it’s only up until now I’ve noticed and acknowledged it."
Sophia first met her current partner in February 2025 and say she “knew it was real”, staying up all night chatting with him.
“At the start I remember cuddling him and thinking ‘it all makes sense now, he feels like the right person for me’,” she says.
“This early on, one of the intrusive thoughts I had was about something bad happening to my boyfriend.
“I woke up the next morning and started crying and I didn’t want to go to work.
“I thought ‘oh my god’ and the thoughts scared me and I felt protective towards him.
“He asked me to meet his parents quite early on and the last time I’d met someone’s parents was many years ago.
“I was happy to do so and really wanted to but the contradiction was after meeting his parents that’s where the shift happened and it sunk in it was quite serious.
“I was in a really great mental state when I met my boyfriend, but my mental state completely flipped when it became serious.
“Ever since I met his parents, it was like something in me, like a switch flicked and genuinely my body freaked out.
“I genuinely feel like my emotions completely shut down. I was so confused.
“At that point I felt I loved him but my feelings switched off and I felt completely numb. I thought ‘why am I feeling this?’”
Sophia and her partner began researching it and all the signs pointed towards her experiencing ROCD.
“I looked it up and when you get into your first healthy relationship all the trauma from the past resurfaces because it’s a safe time to heal it,” she added.
“My boyfriend had done nothing wrong, was nothing but loving to me but I had feelings of trauma and anxiety.
“Actually, it was my body trying to heal."
Her ROCD began affecting life outside of her relationship too – often “spiralling” whilst having a conversation with friends.
“It’s like having a debate with your brain,” Sophia said.
“Whilst everyone is making jokes, I am scanning my environment thinking ‘did I look at that person the wrong way?’
“Even friendly conversation with someone I’d think ‘did I say something wrong?’
“I would feel guilt and feel I’d done something wrong even though I haven’t."
Sophia had private therapy which she began in April 2025, doing exposure exercises to help challenge her thoughts and reducing her consumption of ChatGPT for reassurance.
She also began taking citalopram which she says gave her “more mental space” to do therapy.
Sophie added: “My anxiety gets worse when you’re not feeding it but to sit with it it actually falls and you don’t feel the need to seek reassurance anymore.”
“A way of monitoring my feelings I would do is think ‘do I miss him enough right now?’
“I have to think ‘what is trying to figure out if I miss him enough going to achieve?’”
Sharing her experience online, Sophia says the vast majority of comments have been positive.
“The thoughts are so against my values but my brain is trying to make sure they never ever happen,” she said.
“I’m such a loyal, kind and caring person, I would never do that.
“OCD isn’t just about being neat, that’s a stereotype learned at school about being organised and neat or fearing germs.
“But OCD can be a lot deeper and can latch onto your deepest fears and worries.
“The key thing is it attaches to what matters most to you – the more you care about something the worse it can feel."