‘We couldn’t live without her now’: Why a couple from Leeds wants you to foster a child

Sarah, 46, and Xhimi (Jimmy), 50, Tafani have been caring for their foster daughter since 2022 and even committed to a loft conversion to make the extra space needed for a child.

When their own two children reached their teens Xhimi floated the idea of having some more babies, but Sarah suggested fostering instead knowing how many children in Yorkshire needed a family. At the start of their journey, Xhimi wasn’t sure if they had made the right decision.

Sarah said: “There was a conversation we had early on where Xhimi said ‘What have we done? I’m not sure if this is for me’.

“Not long later, we were going on holiday to celebrate Xhimi’s 50th birthday and our foster daughter sadly couldn’t come with us because her passport didn’t arrive in time - otherwise she would have been there. It got to the day before we were going and Xhimi said to me, ‘Sarah, how are we going to go without her for two weeks?!’ She stayed with some of our friends and we know she was so well looked after, but we were just lost without her. She’s part of the family. We couldn’t live without her now.”

Sarah and Xhimi’s foster daughter arrived at three-and-a-half years old struggling with attachment and physical touch, non-verbal and eating nothing but chicken nuggets and chips.

Sarah said: “Our foster daughter is now six. There’s not much she won’t eat - even a full Sunday dinner - and she’s deeply bonded with our family. Her relationship with Xhimi is just the best ever. She’s making amazing progress in every area of her life including at the SEND school she now attends.

“At one of our recent school reviews everybody was in tears because of how much progress she’s made. Her biological nanny and grandad attended the call from where they live, and even they were crying.”

The Tafanis have used their own life experience to help them foster and Sarah believes everyone has got something to contribute to a child’s life.

She said: “I lost my dad at just 16 in a traumatic way, and I thought this might cause problems for me when we were applying to foster but the team at FCA told me my experience would put me in a good position to help children and young people who might’ve been through a similar thing. What people don’t realise is that their own experiences - whatever they might be - will help them in some way with a foster child.”

Sarah wishes more people knew that children and young people in care ‘aren’t bad’ but ‘they’ve got trauma.’

She said: “These children just need patience and understanding and a nice calm household to live in where they feel loved. That’s what foster parents are for. The rewards you get from seeing your foster child progress are amazing, it is such a rewarding job. I tell all my friends, if they’ve got a spare room then they could do this too.”

For more information on fostering with FCA Yorkshire and Lincolnshire, visit the website here or call the team on 0800 098 4138.