Tyson Fury, the Gypsy King and Scarefest - terrifyingly brilliant: here's what happened when one little boy forgot to say please to the heavyweight boxing legend at Alton Towers

His response? ‘Round dodgers. When you’re out drinking with a group of mates, seven or eight of you, and one tries to duck his round!’ Noted. Although, I reckon even Tyson Fury, estimated to be worth upwards of £100m, might contemplate hiding in the gents when his turn came around at Alton Towers with pints of Guinness priced at £8.25.

So, by now you’ve guessed where we are: Alton Towers and we’ve been invited to experience Scarefest and, more specifically, a brand new Scare Maze - The Edge of The Forest.

For those unfamiliar with the Scare Maze concept, it is essentially a live adrenaline experience where skilled actors try their utmost to scare the living daylights out of you. Meh. I’ve had Mrs Mitchinson come at me for not doing the house chores whilst she’s been out at work all day so what can be worse than that, eh?

So there we were, queuing for the inaugural walk-through of The Edge of The Forest, and who should limber up next us? Again, you’re ahead of me: Tyson Fury, so before we’ve even had an undead witch scream in our faces I’ve been spooked by £8.25 pints and now have the baddest ass in boxing towering over me.

So, what was he like, I hear you ask. Well, it’s not like we got to spend any time with him. He was there with the kids - Paris must have been at home relaxing - and seeing him up close interacting with them was rather incongruous with his ferocious ring persona.

Like any doting dad, he was tidying up one of his brood’s top buttons and putting out of place hair straight. As he strode towards the front door of the maze, he boomed to his youngest: “Don’t you go getting scared on me, now, you!”

Then, the moment of truth. My Harry, who I’d been egging on to ask Tyson for a selfie when he got close, with footwork the Gypsy King would be proud of, evaded Tyson’s gravel-faced minder and shouted ‘Tyson, can I have a selfie?’ He only went and forgot to say please, which I, mortified, apologised for on his behalf, begging forgiveness from Mr Fury who, to my relief, bellowed: “Come on then, young ‘en. Gid up. Be quick.” With that, a photo with a man - beaming from ear to ear - who will go down as one of the world’s greatest ever boxers was in the memory bank for my boy, and off Tyson went.

Can you imagine the actors’ faces when he stoops in through the doors with THAT look on his face - I’m not sure who’d be more scared in there.

Now, the good people at Alton Towers haven’t asked me to regale you with the time my lad and I had a brief encounter with a sporting great, they’ve asked me to experience their latest offering and report back to you.

Let me put it this way: there’s more than one Scare Maze, and we were invited to try them all. I tried one, and that was enough for me. Honest-to-God, they are utterly, soul stealingly, terrifying. The story lines are compelling and the actors quite brilliant at bringing those stories to life. Combined with the discombobulating effect of complete black-out darkness, plus carefully choreographed lighting and sound-effects, you’re immersed in a level of fear and dread that I’ve not felt before.

Having declared myself out of Compound and/or Altonville Mine Tours, it just so happened that Harry had school friends in the park that day, too. Having failed miserably to coax me into any more of these hauntingly brilliant terror chambers, he messaged his friends who duly joined him for a dose in later life of theme park trauma. One emerged: “Oh my God some creature just stroked me and said I’d look lovely once I’d been skinned!” Another: “They’ve just threatened to cut off all my hair and put it in a jar!” And another: “I was locked in a cage and there were loads of other screaming children locked in cages, too, begging to be let go.” This little lad later revealed that he’d panicked a little in there, and that one of the actors broke character to say: “Don’t worry. It’s all make-believe. You won’t get hurt in here. Follow me and I’ll help you out.” That was actually a really nice thing to know, especially for the purposes of this review, because I can offer you reassurance that whilst the Scarefest attractions will do just that, scare you, the actors playing the roles inside are trained to spot those who have unwittingly bitten off more than they can chew, and assist with a stage-left exit, sharpish.

So, in summary, if you’re not scared of eight pound pints or 300lb heavyweight champions of the world, you’ll be more than alright at Scarefest. Teriffyingly brilliant.

James Mundy, Creative Theming and Scenic Manager at Alton Towers Resort, offers his top tips to surviving the scare mazes:

Don’t close your eyes: “It’s natural when you’re frightened to close your eyes, but try to

resist the urge, otherwise you will miss out on so much of the experience.”

Take your time: “Lots of people sprint through scare mazes because they’re so scared. The

slower you go, the more fear builds up - making the jump scares even more intense.”

Explore different routes: “Each route through a scare maze will have its own unique scares,

so you’ll only get the full experience with repeat visits.”

Stick together: “Part of the fun is sharing the fear with others. Hold your nerve and don’t get

separated – though if a maze does split you up, embrace it. Everyone’s experience is

different, and comparing stories afterwards is half the fun.”

Remember it’s not real: “Nothing can actually harm you in a scare maze. You might scream,

you might laugh, you might swear you’ll never do it again - but ten minutes later you’ll be

queuing for another go. That’s the power of adrenaline.”