“Running has helped me through grief” says man taking on London Marathon in memory of his younger brother

James Derrig, 38, who works in insurance, will join thousands of runners on Sunday 26 April to raise vital funds for the hospice that cared for John in his final weeks. He says running has become a powerful way to cope with grief, and a way to give back to the place that supported his family when they needed it most.

“John was a beautiful young man,” James says. “He was gentle, funny, musical – we were both drummers – and we bonded over music from the moment he was old enough to pick up sticks. He had long curly hair, he was incredibly tall, and he had this softness about him.”

John had XYY syndrome, a condition on the autism spectrum, which meant school was often difficult. “He found it tough at times,” James explains. “But by the time I moved back home after a few years away, he was really finding himself. He had a great group of friends, a girlfriend, and he was embracing his music. We were getting close again. That’s one of the hardest parts, it felt like we were just getting started.”

In February 2017, John was diagnosed with advanced oesophageal cancer. “It all happened so fast,” James says. “His body started shutting down over a couple of months. He was in and out of hospital, and my parents practically lived on the ward. John understood what cancer was, but I don’t think he ever fully understood what was happening to him. He stayed so innocent through it all.”

When John was admitted to Sue Ryder Wheatfields Hospice, the atmosphere changed immediately. “It was completely different to hospital,” James says. “It felt calm, gentle, and homely. The staff were incredible, so understanding, so patient. Nothing fazed them. They knew emotions were running high and they just held us through it.”

The hospice team helped make John’s final days as comfortable as possible. “He was having four or five baths a day because it soothed him, and they just made it happen. They made the best of a really awful situation.”

After John died, James threw himself into supporting his family. “I went into pragmatic mode,” James says. “It was only after the funeral that I crashed. Running became a way to cope.”

He had already fundraised for other charities, but Sue Ryder Wheatfields Hospice stayed in his mind. “During lockdown especially, you’d hear how desperate hospices were for funding. Sue Ryder did so much for my brother and my family. I thought: if I can run a few hours around a city and raise some money, why wouldn’t I?”

James ran the Manchester Marathon for Sue Ryder in 2023, but London felt like the challenge he wanted to take on for John. “It’s always been a bucket list thing. I’m not a ‘proper runner’, but running has helped my mental health massively. And doing it for Sue Ryder gives it real purpose.”

Training this year has been going well. “I’m older and wiser now,” he laughs. “I’m listening to my body, following the plan properly, and not trying to be a hero. I’ve just hit my first half marathon distance and I’m feeling good.”

Music plays a huge part in his training – and in his grief. “John and I bonded over music, and after he died there were songs I couldn’t listen to for years. Now I use them as motivation. Sometimes I’ll go to his grave as part of my run. It’s become part of how I stay connected to him.”

James also plays in a country band formed in John’s memory, and music will be with him on marathon day too. “I’m already thinking about the playlist,” he says. “But people say at some point you take your earphones out just to soak up the atmosphere. I think that’ll be special.”

Alongside his marathon training, James and his family and friends are organising a major fundraising event at Caroline Street Social Club in Saltaire on Saturday 18 April, featuring live bands, a pizza van, children’s activities, a raffle and a silent auction. “We’ve already raised around £2,000 from ticket sales and donations, and there’s more to come.”

As marathon day approaches, James knows exactly who he’ll be thinking about.

“I often think about John whilst I’m out running and I like to think that if he could see me doing this, he’d be proud. Running has helped me through grief, and doing it for Sue Ryder Wheatfields Hospice feels like giving something back to the place that cared for him.”

You can support James’s fundraising by visiting: www.justgiving.com/page/james-derrig-3

You can also buy tickets to James’ fundraising event on 18 April by visiting: https://www.ticketebo.co.uk/friends-of-sue-ryder/a-little-help-for-sue-ryder

Want to join #TeamSueRyder in the TCS London Marathon 2027? Register your interest today https://www.sueryder.org/get-involved/fundraise-for-us/events/tcs-london-marathon-2027/